I don't give a damn shit....

Here's the thing,I've just read the blog that my friend wrote.He was saying he will try not to hate people and I agree with him but sometimes things just purposely making you hate it.I know I damn like to delay my time.I like to sleep for 15 minutes before I really wake up.And I have my timing to do things also alright.Promise that you wanna out at 8.30am I will be ready for that.Then tell me lar....no need come back and yell at me say if you tomorrow not reach on time I won't take you go work.Don;t care what time I coming down and do what janji I ready before 8.30am lar....now you were saying tomorrow busy and need go out early say lar....8.15am go out...then I get ready for that lar...Don't tell me you won't take me to work...if don't go don't go lar,I don't mind.It won't work for me,for this kind of age.I have grown enough for that.

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

If that so I willing not to work...what for I so torturing myself early in the morning go work I rather sleep at home and watch television.Because of I go for work,I missed out every single good moment.What do I get from that?NOTHING!!!!What do I care for that.

Another thing is, saying my cousin's sister wanna go for UTAR,then let it be lar.Why wanna say that because my uncle wanna avoid his daugther from being pak tor-ing.Why a lady can't be mature enough?Hello....this is your daugther and you didn't even care whether she is mature or not.Always saying her not mature enough and when its time for mature then why so early mature.What the fuck do you want from me?Your daugther me is mature enough...what'sthe problem....what generation is now?I really do not know what do you want?I've did my best for my result and i don't give a damn damn shit for that.

Don't make me hate you yet I'm still loving you and wannna be a good daugther.Don't make me to be a bad bad daugther.I don't wanna be that.People were saying you are such a good children for you parents....you four are such a good lovely children for your parents.But I can assure you here is, we are not really that "good" enough for that.And they don't really the one who bringing me up to be what I am now.Not at all...so be it.....

Baby Rye Yern

This is baby Rye Yern ^^

My baby nephew...He is gorgeous isn't he. how lovely he is.When I look at him,it makes me have the thought to have one too...haha....baby is good...they are such a miracle to us.Brings happiness...although they always cry when they want to have milk,poop,pee and etc.

but still....they are lovely......^^

It's a good news...how unbelievable....xD

Hie there, here's the thing, I just took my result and I didn't meant to blog but I have nothing to do instead of playing games so I rather come in and update my blog since...its been a long time. Alright, first thing first,I got my result and yes I'm happy with it. I didn't think that I will have such result.....please allow me.....YEAH!!!!!!! HURRAY!!!!! okay....that's enough.... id o really satisfied I do....and I will work more harder to reach where I could be.

Another thing is,I get my mum's permission, that I can go Australia anytime that I want. Yet, I still don't have the courage but I will train myself to have the courage to over sea. Its not an easy things to me.Although I've been there but its years ago. I love that kind of life, and not in Malaysia. I do not know why the English men and Americans or other foreigners like Malaysia.and Malaysian of course will like other country more than Malaysia itself. Maybe is when you in here, you see the negative and outside you see the positive and you have the perception that outside is better than inside and you will wish to immigrant. But that's the future thing. I just went for holidays for god sake....I must enjoy every time i went there. I will one day I will go....Leaving Malaysia or not that have to see myself whether have the ability to do it or not. But holiday....Australia....I'm coming....hehe......Just give me some time and improving my English.... I'm trying already now...

I know recently I'm being very damn emo, I do not want to and I don't know why that I became like that.But I think it won't be happen again,I just have to thank you....Thank you you to be next to me every time i can't sleep, I can't study,I'm not happy,I'm happy and thank you that sharing with me....hehe....glad to have you beside me...It's my honor to have you such a friend of mine....hehe....Cheers........

Lastly, my brother already engaged, and hope he can have a really good relationship with his fiancee. And that day, while my brother is registered, he took the vow the vow that previously I think is easy to take the vow because it just a vow cause you seen in TV its easy because its just drama but when you in the situation you the one taking it, wow....its different, it's makes me don't have the courage to get married in future, if I don't have the ready yet.say No to marriage.God,its a forever vow, how can you have this vow for a life, its crazy,plus there's too many marriage that is broken. Its....I don't know...its just makes me feel....insecure....well, I know I'm too young to think about this.Okay, stop thinking but, my brother, he is so courage because he is married....salute to you....

My sister is going to get birth....can't wait to have a nephew, its named Ryan....hehe.....going out next week I think God bless them all....Hope everything will be just fine fine fine....hehe.....

Served You Right....

Alright, I do not wanna post blog actually, but humans....always will be the cause to another human to do something they do not want to do. Just like me,I don't want to post but some causes make me to do so, I've just post a post in my facebook which stated as below:

"How you treat people now is how people treat you back in future, that's the reality, DO NOT ask me will I treat you nicer in future, and DO NOT BLAME for what I've done to you in future.....You, yourself created it.....not me...."

Well, in a second there's people who agreed with my statement. Why would i suddenly posted this is because people force me to do so. A human that I try to Love but it making me frustrate and do not know how am I going to learn to love.the questions you asked me, with no doubt i was going to say,"Yes, I will treat you better,because you are my....". But these few days, you make me changed my mind, now I understand why they always criticize you and I'm still there to say you are fair enough you treat people is fair enough. Now, things changed. As I said before, people changed so do I.As the statement above, I do not how will I treat you in future.It depends...I do not know anything in future. Hope miracles come up and changed my mind.

How you treated me just now is frustrating me, you made me have those thoughts, you the one who have to blame yourself but not me not them. You made me as a sinner, I do not want it happen to me. I've try to control my devil but.....you really pissed me off....



I'm Sorry......

Change me....

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FTW.....

I've cried...I'm so stress right now...what's going on to me?its just a small est...why my head still pain....please just stop for few hours...i just wanna read....please please please help me to understand it.....i need to understand it....i want to understand it......POP.....what the fuck...........

I've Cried.....

I do not know what actually happened on me.I feel nothing right now,i know that I'm very damn stress and suffering.about what and what caused me felt that way,i do not know.i wanna throw them away.i don't want them to bother me. i feel very uncomfortable with it.i want myself back.

I've started to feel like this is not me,this is not Carina that used to be.she changed.....until I,myself already don't recognize myself.where am i?i cried just now.after that,i feel much better. but again,the pain is ain't gonna disappear though.

I do not know what am i become,I just don't want to be so emo.What really happened to me????is it i gave myself too much pressure,too much expectation only came out bad outcome.I just wanna do things right.I don't want to be bossy,control everything.I don't want all of this......why am i so fucking damn emo...... I hate to be that way.....that is so not me....its not Carina!!!!!!!


I wish to have a really new life and no emo Carina coming out....please...go away.....I don't want you.....I just wanna be myself which not affraid of everything....argghhhhhhh......>.<"""

Emo-ing

New trimester has started for 2 weeks,although feels not so easy but I will try my best to make it good.I know it will be tough for everyone,but still i hope i can have more better outcome.Plus,i quite emo recently, I don;t know why.But i need to apologies that I'm having emo face,i can't control it.I'm sorry......

Ganbade......^^

I'm not happy.....

I'm not happy.....i don't know why i'm not happy.i don't know why i feel myself not happy....I don't know the reason,don't know when i became not happy and i don't what am i thinking,doing now...i just feel that i'm not happy....

Maybe is too many things to think of....

Mayb is suddenly too many things happened in my life....

Maybe is i'm thinking too far from here....

Perhaps its time for me to take a break...

for not bothering anything happens around me so that i really can calm down and relax....

Perhaps is the weather matter,makes me feel rude and bad mood....

Perhaps is because of stress that i'm giving myself for final....

Perhaps its all about me,myself and I....

Perhaps its just in a short period then i will be fine....

Perhaps...............

But still.....i'm not happy....what can i do to make myself happy....i don't want to see myself so dull and so emo....i want the cheerful myself back right now,right this second this moment....

Help me to find it back.......PLEASE!!!

i do not know how much long that i can stand....I WANT MY CARINA BACK....

its been long time that i didnt actually update my personal blog.from the 1st time i wrote this blog...i wonder what kind of feeling i had o have his blog and so many posts.I thought that this blog is for me to wrote someone i do not like in my life so that i can dont have the hatred in them. But then, i also put happy,sweet moments in this blogs jz to have a share to my dearest. I dont mind whether this blog gt people come in n view o not.for me...its ad enough...i shall not end this blog coz sometimes i can use it to gv out my feelings that frustrated me for so long.so that it makes me more relax...coz i already vomits everything that annoying me into here.

ok....heres it goes....1st...i dont like someone...well....can say that this person actually is nothing....but annoying me...i dun like the voice and action of this person.i dun like either hw this person act and behave....hello...its in U now...wat u expect...duhhh....jz plz...dun let me hate u deeply....i dont want some day....i open my damn fuckin' mouth to scold u....it is mean i knw...tats why i cntrl myself until now...so plz...if u really notice and realize plz...change it b4 we kick ur ass off .....SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!

2nd...i already many years dont have this kind of feeling....which is....have a crush on someone...i dont know this is what feeling...but....its so real and so....cant resist it....i really do not know what to do now....i dont even dare to think of it....who can understand my feeling now....suddenly, so many things happend in my life....i really need a break....i really need to take a deep deep deep breathe so that i can be free for anything and continue fight for what i want.....

midterm,assignment,lousy members,someone someone...why all of you coming in one time...i dont want u all....plz....get rid of it..... dont like u all....i really dont want to have a cruel life and complicated life now.....i want to have a normal life..normal that i wont be so frustrated and many things bugging....although i know human sure will passed these all....dont you think its too early for me to get through these...im just fuckin' 19....damn it...a normal girl that dont wish to have anyhting in her life now.....she dont want luxury anymore,dont want complicated relationships and useless members....and a class of freak that being so so so strange for her....i dont know is my problem r theirs...i feel myself suc ha freak now....i really dont have any direction to go now....what should i do now......i really have no idea....i passed so many things b4 this....nothing can stop me...why am i still judging my ability now....i know i can get through these things......why until now...i still cant make it real?izzit so ard for me to get through?where is the carina that dont scared of anything and death goes?plz help me find myself back....i not enough brave to passed it with now de me....sorry...suddenly cant think any words...broken words will do...i really want myself back....i almost everyday thinking want to have a big big big big big cry just to release my pain and stress.....i cant express out my feeling....its really torturing me...nothing can help me to make it out...i have tried many ways...just cant...i went to sing,i told my sis....both sis....i told my fren...i told mh....in conclusion....I STILL FUCKIN' STRESS!!!!!


i am so sorry to write so emo blog tonite....i really sorry...i hope i can let it go....i do really wish want to scream out as loud as possible so that i wont be so........DEPRESS....aihzzz.....LAME GIRL....

i'm tired~~~tired of being me rite now...

it's been a long time i din update my blog...tonite....i dunno why i suddenly wanna to write something that is not important o special..



next week i will start my degree life in kampar,although its near and i can every week bck hmtown,but...i still dun hv the mood to staying there for 3 years for christ sake....3 years....i feel so stress rite now although i nt yt start class.....



and honestly i really feel sked...i dunno i sked bout wat.....jz sked...and keep thinking and thinking and thinking...i dunno whether i hv made the rite decision o not and i hope i din make any bad decision....i really dont wanna fail and tk the wrong path again...i really feel tired for now.i dunno why i will so emo rite now...bt i wish to cry out jz to release my stress...mayb i can hv a big big cry so tat i can be more awake and knw wats rite for me.....



wat happen to me actually???wats thing tat bother me now....keeping me thinking thinking n thinking...i wish to stop it....i dun wanna think it again....its really tiring....



and i started to feel bored and tiring for something...i dunno wat izzit....can someone plz passed me a compass.....i hv no idea where am i heading now....i hv no direction rite now........