i do not know how much long that i can stand....I WANT MY CARINA BACK....

its been long time that i didnt actually update my personal blog.from the 1st time i wrote this blog...i wonder what kind of feeling i had o have his blog and so many posts.I thought that this blog is for me to wrote someone i do not like in my life so that i can dont have the hatred in them. But then, i also put happy,sweet moments in this blogs jz to have a share to my dearest. I dont mind whether this blog gt people come in n view o not.for me...its ad enough...i shall not end this blog coz sometimes i can use it to gv out my feelings that frustrated me for so long.so that it makes me more relax...coz i already vomits everything that annoying me into here.

ok....heres it goes....1st...i dont like someone...well....can say that this person actually is nothing....but annoying me...i dun like the voice and action of this person.i dun like either hw this person act and behave....hello...its in U now...wat u expect...duhhh....jz plz...dun let me hate u deeply....i dont want some day....i open my damn fuckin' mouth to scold u....it is mean i knw...tats why i cntrl myself until now...so plz...if u really notice and realize plz...change it b4 we kick ur ass off .....SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!

2nd...i already many years dont have this kind of feeling....which is....have a crush on someone...i dont know this is what feeling...but....its so real and so....cant resist it....i really do not know what to do now....i dont even dare to think of it....who can understand my feeling now....suddenly, so many things happend in my life....i really need a break....i really need to take a deep deep deep breathe so that i can be free for anything and continue fight for what i want.....

midterm,assignment,lousy members,someone someone...why all of you coming in one time...i dont want u all....plz....get rid of it..... dont like u all....i really dont want to have a cruel life and complicated life now.....i want to have a normal life..normal that i wont be so frustrated and many things bugging....although i know human sure will passed these all....dont you think its too early for me to get through these...im just fuckin' 19....damn it...a normal girl that dont wish to have anyhting in her life now.....she dont want luxury anymore,dont want complicated relationships and useless members....and a class of freak that being so so so strange for her....i dont know is my problem r theirs...i feel myself suc ha freak now....i really dont have any direction to go now....what should i do now......i really have no idea....i passed so many things b4 this....nothing can stop me...why am i still judging my ability now....i know i can get through these things......why until now...i still cant make it real?izzit so ard for me to get through?where is the carina that dont scared of anything and death goes?plz help me find myself back....i not enough brave to passed it with now de me....sorry...suddenly cant think any words...broken words will do...i really want myself back....i almost everyday thinking want to have a big big big big big cry just to release my pain and stress.....i cant express out my feeling....its really torturing me...nothing can help me to make it out...i have tried many ways...just cant...i went to sing,i told my sis....both sis....i told my fren...i told mh....in conclusion....I STILL FUCKIN' STRESS!!!!!


i am so sorry to write so emo blog tonite....i really sorry...i hope i can let it go....i do really wish want to scream out as loud as possible so that i wont be so........DEPRESS....aihzzz.....LAME GIRL....